It takes a lot of strength to stand in the frightening space of “I don’t know.” There’s this push – by society, our families, ourselves – to have everything figured out and broken down into nice, neat little steps.
But, then life happens. Emotions come crashing in. Confusion swirls all around. And we find ourselves losing our grasp on who we thought we were and questioning everything.
And to that end I scream, “Hallelujah!”
Because we don’t figure out who we are when we’ve got it all figured out. Nope. We learn who we are and what we’re made of through that dark space of I don’t know because it inspires us to open doors and windows into our soul.
We feel misery and we search for more.
We feel pain and we search for healing.
We feel confused and we begin to question.
So that we can discover who we really are beneath our careers, our roles, our clothes, our makeup.
And we are beautiful.
We are talented.
We are playful.
We are sensitive.
We are human.
And as much as I hate feeling confused, I know that it is a gift from God. It is a message from my deepest knowing that is asking me to slow down, shine that light of awareness, and throw open a new window. Yes, it’s scary. And uncomfortable. But, it’s worth it. Because pretending I’ve got it all figured out and hiding behind perfectionism is a death sentence I’m not willing to serve.
Cassandra–
I was just perusing the discussion board and came upon your website and started looking. This is beautiful! You definately have a gift and have inspired me to start blogging. I think people long to feel that their feelings are not theirs alone, but that others feel them too. I truly love the last line and want to repeat it daily…because pretending I’ve got it all figured out and hiding behind perfectionism is a death sentence I’m not willing to serve (me either!). I think letting go of the false sense of security is what draws people to you to share with you and feel comfortable. Good luck to you in all that you do–you are quite a success!!
Deni Troxclair
Hi Deni ~
Thank you so much for your kind words of acknowledgment! It fills me up with love and inspiration to read that I am “quite a success!!” I’m just going to sit here and let that soak in. You have truly brightened my day. Thank you!
So we stretch across the internet, hold hands, close our eyes, and jump through the edge of fear into…
GREATNESS!
Isn’t that cool?! I love blogging and the internet :~)
I would love to stay connected and check out your blog. Please keep me posted.
Hugs ~
Cassandra